By Krupa Balasubramanya - July 3, 2020
The yoni approach to the female body is one of utmost respect and reverence. In Sanskrit, “yoni” means “womb” or “sacred place”. It best expresses the area of the female reproductive system: the vagina, the vulva, the clitoris. Culturally, yoni is a symbolic representation of the female Hindu goddess Shakti, usually depicted with her masculine Shiva counterpart, linga. Together, they represent the eternal divinity of human existence, of creation and regeneration. Similar to tantra, the yoni approach is meant to celebrate the human body by encouraging sexual growth, stimulation and healing. As such, the experience is more emotional than physical. Like tantra, a satisfying orgasm is a joyful side effect to becoming more in tune with your body’s needs and wants, yet is not the ultimate goal. Understanding yoni is a great next step to discovering your fullest self and deepest sexual satisfaction. One of the ways this is best achieved is through yoni massage.
Why Yoni Massage? Aside from relieving a great amount of stress and tension (which women so often tend to carry in their pelvic area), yoni massage is also about healing and education. Because the female erogenous zones are mostly hidden, they are often misunderstood. Yoni is one way to build a greater awareness of one’s whole self, allowing more authentic self-expression, building self-confidence, and fostering empowerment.
Although you are able to receive professional yoni massages, the Alpha Hearts Lifework Method© does not necessarily recommend these as this is not currently a regulated practice in the United States. Instead, we recommend creating a safe environment for yourself, either on your own or with someone you explicitly trust, and giving it a go. While yoni does not have the ability to heal past sexual trauma, it may provide a safe approach to reclaiming ground and control over one’s body, possibly allowing greater freedom and empowerment in the long run.
Step One: Set the Scene (& Your Expectations)
A yoni massage is about sexual education and healing through explorative touch. The intention is not so much to satisfy you in the moment, but to increase overall sexual satisfaction in the long run. For instance, yoni massage and gentle stimulation may be a great option for someone who frequently struggles with sexual pain, numbness or stiffness.
Before you begin, intentionally decide on what you want to achieve through your session. Some possible examples include: better ability to discern the various sensation points of your erogenous zones, more patience and understanding of your own limits and satisfaction in the bedroom, or greater comfort and ability to relax and be present while being intimate.
Set yourself up for success. Make sure you are in a quiet, relaxed environment and that your mind is off the day’s stressors. Go ahead and take an aromatic bath beforehand, dim the lights and play some music. As certified tantra educator Mare Simone puts it at wellandgood.com, “These kind of intentions create a deeper pool for potential pleasure… That’s when it becomes truly a magical, cosmic, sexual experience. The kind that leaves you feeling transformed and liberated.”
Step Two: Take it Slow
Don’t feel rushed to immediately jump into the action. You can ease yourself in by first focusing on the breasts and the tummy. How does your body react to your touch? Pay attention to any tensions or discomforts you might have as you go along. Slowly breathe yourself and allow yourself to relax. Depending on your feelings and history, you may not even make it to your nether regions on the first session. That is OK! If anything, this means that you are listening to your body and responding to its needs. Encourage yourself to slowly move on as things become more comfortable and enjoyable based on your experience.
Step Three: Go All In
Contrary to popular tropes, female pleasure need not be elusive or mythical. All it takes is a bit of patience and understanding of the female anatomy. Healthline.com delves into the nitty, gritty by spelling out a number of techniques you may want to try, including cupping, pushing and pulling, tugging and rolling your sensitive area for comfort and pleasure.
Our basic suggestion? Don’t be shy with the lubricant. If you don’t have access to a tube of safe lube on the market, a bit of coconut oil should do the trick.
Step Four: Let Your Body Lead
Be safe, be gentle, be curious. It may be a good idea to have a few mantras or positive affirmations on hand to say to yourself as you go through your process. This could be something as simple as, “My body is divine” or as specific as, “I release all pain and move into new freedom.” If you come across any feelings of pain, tension or numbness along the way, be patient with yourself. Hold your hand over that area and breathe into the sensation until you feel it begin to release. Repeat as necessary.
Step Five: Enjoy Yourself
Through years of conditioning, it may be no surprise to find that our physical and emotional selves are prone to race to that big finish: the orgasm. Instead, back off before things get that far. You might even make it a goal to try not to even orgasm at all (though it’s not wrong if you do). How to finish things off without the big bang? Try placing your hand over your heart and “taking it all in.” Thank your body for serving you and for this time together. Our favorite post-yoni activity? Taking a long, satisfying nap. After you’ve put in the time, it’s no doubt you will deserve it!
Did this post speak to your heart or teach you something new? Alpha Hearts still has spots available to welcome new clients into our community! Email me if you’re ready to find the Connection, Love, Growth, and Support that will allow your inner self to fully shine and embrace all that your life has to offer you! Alpha Hearts supports your life’s journey with Numerology, Ayurveda, and Tantra.
Did you love this post? Consider sending us a little love back! Visit here to donate to Alpha Hearts now!