Mindful Intimacy: How to Honor and Heal Your Body Through Tantra
By Krupa Balasubramanya - May 28, 2020
Mindfulness is an important foundation for any healthy, intimate relationship. When it comes to committed sexual relationships, what happens in the bedroom is often a reflection of what happens outside the bedroom, and vice versa. Previously we have discussed tantric exercises for both breathing and sex. Recall that the Sanskrit meaning of Tantra is “to weave” or “woven together.” It denotes a sacred practice of energy and healing that combines breathing, meditation, movement and sound to open up the chakras or energy systems of the body. Opening your chakras allows trapped energy to circulate, providing transformative healing and renewed life forces in the process.
While Tantra most often connotes a more sexual experience, here we also find it important to acknowledge it first and foremost as a state of being or existing, less as an action or result. Case in point: Tantric sex should be wholly exercised as simply a way of being intimate with your partner. This is why we often will remind you that the profound sexual intimacy you are likely to experience with your partner need not result or depend on intercourse at all. The focus here is simply on the exchange of energies between two people.
It’s that exchange of energies that excites us the most. A recent study out of the University of California San Diego reports that as many as three out of four Americans experience moderate to severe levels of loneliness on any given day, with both men and women being equally affected. Many of us may not even realize how lonely, detached or out of touch we are until we are finally exposed to the radical concepts of Tantra and its correlation with deeper human connection—Not only with others, but with our bodies and our souls. By returning to a place where we are fully present, we honor our self and provide restoration and healing to the often unmet need for connection that lies deep within us all.
When it comes to relationships that last, two of the most powerful traits a partner can have are mindful kindness and emotional generosity. According to Oregon’s Spreading Kindness Campaign, mindful kindness “allows us to pay attention to what is going on around us so we can be aware in a non-judgmental state, not caught up in anger or regret over the past and not caught up with worriers about the future.” Think of emotional generosity as extending that mindful kindness to others without an expectation of receiving it in return. In other words, loving kindness is not a quid pro quo situation. You may not always get what you give out, but studies show that the most successful relationships are the ones that operate precisely without that expectation. Some of the most important behavior markers of kindness involve feelings of forgiveness, gratitude, empathy and compassion, along with actions of genuine concern for the feelings of others (altruism), generosity and teamwork.
We talk a lot about love as an action, but perhaps if we thought of it more as a bi-product of our actions, we would be more loving and mindful as a whole. You don’t have to live feeling lost and alone in the world. There’s more hope in the human experience than that. You can start today by loving yourself first—Through Tantra! As Prana Regina Barrett of the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health explains it, “The intention of tantric practices is to expand one’s body and experience back to the soul’s original essence… who you were as a fetus, free of stress or trauma, and who you are growing into as you become free. This is when we can come into our fullest potential, with acute awareness and clear, loving connection with others.”
When you are ready, here are three Tantric practices that we highly suggest you try:
Tantric “Third Eye” Meditation
Also known as the Spinal Meditation, this meditation is designed to activate a circuit of energy along your spine by opening the Crown Chakra at the top of your head and the Third Eye Chakra in the middle of your forehead to receive divine energy. By sitting in a comfortable cross-legged position with your sit bones touching the floor beneath you and your legs planted firmly on the floor, your energies will also be firmly grounded in the Earth. Combine this practice with traditional breathing techniques and adopt a mantra such as “I am all that I am” to intensify your presence and your communion with the world.
This type of yoga may be practiced alone or with a partner. Tantric yoga is much like regular yoga, except every breath, every pose, every movement is centered on opening your chakra and pushing energy back through the body in a way that builds strength, clarity and bliss. If yoga teaches you to work hard to get what you want, tantric yoga teaches you to work hard to liberate yourself from all that you want. This is because a core principle of tantra is that one is freed from the constraints of all goals or grand finales. Get physical with your partner through yoga and you’re likely to be surprised at just how deep of a connection you feel.
You’re going to need to grab a partner for this one—Someone with whom you trust and are already deeply intimate. The hallmark of a Tantric massage is that it involves sensual touch. Ask your partner to lightly run their fingertips along your entire body. You should be a passive participant in this exercise. This should not involve any sexual exchange. Your only focus is on deep relaxation. Allow your mind to confront and acknowledge any shame or discomfort you may experience along the way. Your consciousness is like a stream. Your thoughts like leaves upon the water. Regard them, acknowledge them, then let them float away.
Did this post speak to your heart or teach you something new? Alpha Hearts still has spots available to welcome new clients into our community! Email me, if you’re ready to find the Connection, Love, Growth, and Support that will allow your inner self to fully shine and embrace all that your life has to offer you! Alpha Hearts supports your life’s journey with Numerology, Ayurveda, and Tantra.
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