What does quality of life look like to you? For many people, it might look like working the highest-paid position at the most powerful company, living in the best house in the best neighborhood, having an excess of savings, a three car garage, a summer home, a sail boat and a pony to boot. Of course I am exaggerating here, but whether we like to admit it or not, our subconscious is heavily biased toward external appearance, so much so that we even make vast assumptions about people within the first 12 seconds of meeting them, from their social status to their leadership potential to their trustworthiness, often before they even open their mouth, just based off the way that they look. That’s why I’m here to tell you something you’ve most likely heard before: It’s what’s on the inside that counts. What I mean by this is that we live our lives from the inside out. How we see and understand ourselves projects outward into how we see and understand the world, which in turn affects how we move about in it, from the the jobs we seek to the friends we make to the baggage we carry.

This is not meant to be a tirade against America’s corner offices. There is nothing inherently wrong with material wealth or even the display thereof. In fact, some of the world’s greatest philanthropists come from considerable wealth and power. Rather, this is about when the pursuit of these external displays of abundance supersede the internal in such a way that it leaves the consumer feeling empty, lost, without purpose and without joy. It is as though the quantity of life begins to take priority over the quality, but the thing is, when you focus first and foremost on internal quality of life, everything else will seem to fall into place. You can have every facet of external success and still be a broken, half-functioning person on the inside. Only when you know yourself—what you’re about, what you want and what you value—can you have true internal quality of life. Such is the basic foundation to living a life of abundance and joy.

This works relationally as well. The human psychology is hardwired to connect with other humans and elevate relationships above all other needs and desires, but when the human brain experiences trauma it can turn to prioritizing self protection and security as a coping mechanism instead. It makes sense that we should want to self protect and create security for ourselves by making money. Money helps us provide and sustain our basic needs for survival. But there is a balance. And things go wrong—they become imbalanced—when connection is no longer a priority at all, when even self-discovery and self-awareness are thrown by the wayside in favor of the “more” of life: more money, more stuff, more savings, more security. There’s more survival, but less connection. It is rare that you will meet someone who has not experienced some kind of trauma in their lifetime; therefore, it is rare that you will meet someone who does not experience some sort of struggle with this imbalance. What’s interesting is that the imbalance comes so naturally for us, yet itself goes so much against our nature. When we live in this imbalance, our basic needs in fact are not being met.

Only when we prioritize our internal self are we able to have authentic connections with people on a raw, truthful level. Internal self does not refer to the way the body works. We’re talking about human behavior here—Nature vs. nurture. It means sorting through what you were taught to think and feel and believe as a child and discovering what holds true for you in the present. It means honoring your true self and learning to seek and trust relationships built on vulnerability and truth, honesty, gratitude and boundaries. It means arriving at a place in your life where you finally value the qualities over the quantities. Maybe this looks like buying fewer clothes for more dollars instead of more clothes for fewer dollars, or maybe it looks like having closer relationships with fewer people, or maybe it simply looks like taking less time in front of the TV every day and spending more time with yourself, listening to your inner voic and really digging into who you are.

As I stated above, working on the internal self takes vulnerability, courage and hard work. You may very well make your way from point A to point B on your own, but maybe you will experience a dozen pit stops along the way. The road to self discovery and inner abundance can be one of distraction and fear if you do not have a proper map. Through my work at Social Pods I am here to guide you and get you there quicker. Together we can work through your internal traumas, realign your energy and priorities, jump those internal hurdles, navigate those internal roadblocks, build new belief systems and start living a life of abundance—One that’s built on true internal happiness and self discovery.

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